10 Tips for Getting Through Your Unplanned C-Section

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I never imagined I would have a C-section. For 9 months the possibility didn’t even cross my mind. That was, until about 30 minutes before I was wheeled into the OR after a failed induction. After 12 hours of erratic contractions, an epidural, and failure to progress past 3 cm, it was clear that my baby needed to get out sooner rather than later. My husband, my doctor and I chose to proceed with surgery ASAP. I cried. I was freaked out. And then, I rallied. Here’s how I got through the drama, joy, and pain that is the (unplanned) C-section.

July_10 tips for getting through your unplanned csection

1. Go in with an open mind:

I’m not sure any of my other bits of advice can even come close in importance to this first one. I personally wasn’t a birth plan gal, but I understand that many soon-to-be mamas are, and I totally get that. So make your plan. But you must, must, must go in with an open mind. All kinds of things can happen, and it isn’t within your control, and it isn’t always within your doctor’s control. What will be will be, you must trust the healthcare professionals around you and know that their only goal is the health and safety of both you and your baby. Is a surgical birth ideal? Absolutely not. But vaginal births are not easy or clean, and 100 years ago many women died in childbirth because they didn’t have the medical miracle that is the modern day C-section (I probably would have been one of those women). It might not happen to you, but it might, and you should be prepared for that possibility. So have an open mind, and remember the ultimate goal, which is not your fairy tale birth story, but rather the delivery of a healthy baby, and the preservation of a healthy mom.

2. Don’t hide your emotions:

That being said, don’t feel you need to hide your sadness or angst at the loss of the birth you were picturing. I went in with an incredibly open mind, and yet, I still burst into tears and confessed to my nurse and doctor that I was very scared. Which brings me to my next tip…

3. Ask for clarification:

A C-section is an incredibly common surgery for most OBs, and many may not think to go over the full procedure with their patient. So please, ask your doctor for clarification. Through tears, I gripped my doctor’s arm and asked her to walk me through the procedure. I felt 100 times better knowing what was going to happen and also hearing the expertise of my doctor.

4. Ask if your mom (or whoever) can also come into the OR:

Unless your surgery is a true emergency, your husband, partner, or birthing coach will probably be allowed to go into the OR with you. But we also wanted my mom to be present at the birth, and while my doctor offered to have my mom in the OR, go ahead and ask if you can have that extra comfort person present. It can’t hurt, and the most they will say is no.

5. Go to your happy place:

I’m sure every OR is different, but in my case, they wheeled me into a very bright, cold, room with Hotel California blaring in the background. I was utterly alone as the doctors and nurses prepped for surgery. I had to quickly push myself into a “happy place” before anxiety set in and I completely lost it. I began with deep breaths staring straight up at the ceiling, then I closed my eyes, and went to a tropical beach (thus the title picture). I quietly sang You are my Sunshine to myself and pictured the sound of the waves softly crashing. I kept this up on and off throughout the surgery and it helped to keep me calm and oddly, present, instead of allowing my fear and anxiety to take hold and overwhelm my mind and body.

6. Focus on the outcome:

As you probably know, most C-sections are performed while the mom is awake, and therefore, is aware of all that is going on (although they do erect a curtain above your belly so you can’t see the actual surgery unless you ask for them to lower it). And while you are very numb from the chest down, that doesn’t mean you can’t feel pressure. You can. Nothing painful. But lots of pressure. So, remember, the outcome is the goal, which means a healthy baby fully out of your womb. If all goes well your surgery will go quickly, don’t focus on the weird sensations, simply focus on your baby. That being said, don’t be afraid to ask what’s going on or where they are in the procedure. You have a right to know, and in my case, the anesthesiologist kept me pretty updated.

7. Throw up, cry, laugh, let it all out:

As soon as my baby was pulled out I felt a huge void in my stomach, I heard him cry and I immediately burst into body-rocking sobs of joy and relief. I also felt like I was going to pass out and vomit, which I quickly told the anesthesiologist. She kindly brought me a little crescent-shaped bowl to place next to my head in case I did puke (I didn’t). You have just been through a lot, (understatement?) and you have every right to let our your full range of emotions. Don’t be shy about it, don’t hold back, just let it all out.

8. Walk:

Recovery is different for everyone, of course, and I’m here to tell you that I am absolutely horrible at recovery and recuperation. My body is weak sauce. I just don’t heal quickly or easily. Never have. So, when my nurses told me to walk, I walked! I walked the halls of that hospital as much as I could. And you should too, I swear it helped my recovery more than anything else. (Except maybe the pain pills…). Follow the nurses advise, and be sure to give yourself lots of time.

9. Let others help:

I know you can’t wait to change baby’s diaper, or perform baby’s first bath, or slowly walk baby while rocking him to sleep, but after major surgery, it might not be easy, or even possible for you to perform these actions. At least not right away. My husband and mom changed most of Baby Beans diapers in the hospital, our favorite nurse gave him his first sponge bath, and it wasn’t until day 3 or 4 that I was able to let my husband sleep while I gently walked and rocked Bean around our hospital room. You’ll have lots of moments with your baby, don’t allow your own healing and self-care to languish by over-doing it.

10. Your recovery doesn’t end just because you go home:

I kept having to remind myself (and sometimes others), that I’d just had major abdominal surgery. It was hard to remember, and I would get restless, but what I needed more than anything was to rest once I got home. I was lucky to have lots of help close by, but even if you don’t please try to go easy on yourself. You don’t need to clean, accept as much help as is offered, even if you feel uncomfortable doing so, put the pressure on your spouse to provide dinner for the two of you. Yes, at some point you will need to learn how to deal with baby by yourself, but that point doesn’t have to be in the midst of your own recovery, these things take time and patience. And, the truth is, if you don’t recover from surgery, you won’t be able to take care of your baby, which is the most important thing right now. As one doctor told me, you should be doing nothing for the first 6 weeks except taking care of yourself and your baby (and yes, she said “yourself” before “your baby”).

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Elisabeth
Elisabeth, a native of southwest Ohio, has recently moved back to her home state after 3.5 years in Dallas, TX, y’all. After having their son in early 2015, Elisabeth and her husband knew it was time to make the bittersweet decision to leave Dallas and head back home. Although neither Elisabeth nor her husband are originally from Columbus, it immediately felt comfortable and welcoming, home at last. Elisabeth is mama to a darling, wacky, and scrumptious one-year-old boy, Baby Bean, and married for over four years to the man who stole her heart with a smile junior year in college. Before embarking on her life-long dream of being a stay at home mom, Elisabeth attended law school in Cleveland and then promptly decided to become a real estate agent in Dallas. Elisabeth loves making lists of all kinds, squeezing into skinny jeans whenever possible, and truly believes nothing tastes better than that first cup of morning coffee (with lots of cream). Her favorite things include Cadbury Eggs, Christmas decorations, hotel room service, and watching Baby Bean grow and change each and every day, even if that means toddlerdom is upon her! Elisabeth is passionate about parenting, and loves to learn about the many different types of parents, child-rearing, and how individual families approach various, every day challenges. She hopes her stories can help others see a new perspective, understand that no matter what, they aren’t alone, bring forth a little bit of inspiration, and ultimately help other parents through this nutty job we’ve bestowed upon ourselves.

6 COMMENTS

  1. Great article, Elizabeth! I planned my entire pregnancy for a vaginal birth and a month before I was due I found out I needed a c-section due to some complications with my baby girl. Even knowing ahead of time, a c-section is tough and hard to prepare for. I wish I had this article before having mine! I’m sure this will be very helpful for those going through one in the future. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Hi Melissa,

      Thank you so much for your feedback! I’m so glad that a fellow c-section mama agrees with my recommendations 🙂 Its such a different experience for everyone, but I do think some things are universal. Thanks so much for reading along, I really appreciate it!

  2. Elizabeth,

    I cried while reading this entire article. My son is 21 months old today and I had an unplanned, emergency C-section with him. I had a loose birth plan and thought I had an open mind but of course I never expected to have a C-section. I feel so blessed that my son and I both ended up being healthy afterwards but it was still such a shock to me. The fact that I cried reading this article shows just how much it still affects me :). Yours is the best article I’ve read about an unplanned C-section. Thank you for sharing your story – it really resonated with me 🙂

    • Hi Olena,

      Thank you so, so much for leaving a comment. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me that my article was able to connect with another mom, and even more, that another c-section mama gives it such high praise. I work hard on my words, and I’m so glad that work is doing some good. I completely know where you are coming from. A c-section birth is a special event in our lives. We live with the physical and emotional scars forever. 18 months later I still think about that surgery on an almost daily basis. Its very hard when the world tells you its not a “natural” birth, even though I completely disagree with that statement. But like you, I’m SO, so glad the result is a happy, healthy baby, and a healthy, in tact mommy.

  3. Thank you so much for writing this. I don’t think women plan enough for this possibility. My mom had 3 c-sections so I was determined to deliver vaginally. I associated a c-section as the non-natural choice and, therefore, not a valid option. After 18 hours of labor, a failed induction, and 0 cm, I had an unplanned c-section. I wish I had prepared myself for the possibility of a C-section because it would have taken away so much of the fear and stress that accompanied my sons birth 3 1/2 years ago. As a result of my previous experience and some complications, my daughter was born via c-section 6 months ago and I was so much more relaxed.

    • Hi Erica! Thanks for leaving a comment. I’m so glad you read my article and agree with what I’ve written. Unfortunately, I feel like so many of us are told that c-sections aren’t acceptable, or to ignore the doctor’s advice and push through with a vaginal birth, or we are made to feel that our bodies have failed because we delivered via c-section. None of that is true or helpful advice. We are blessed to have modern medicine. I’m SO glad your second c-section was a more relaxed experience. I’ll be having my second baby in about 6 months and, as we speak, I’m grappling with the issue of whether to pursue a VBAC or a scheduled c-section. It’s still a difficult decision, but knowing what I know now about c-sections (and what I failed to teach myself before my last delivery), I’m much more comfortable knowing I may yet again deliver via cesarean.

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