If you are a working mother, you may have heard this question many times. Here are some of the questions / comments I receive a lot:
Why did you have kids just for someone else to raise them?
I would miss my children too much.
I don’t know how you do it.
You look exhausted.
You are going to miss so many milestones!
And so on and so forth. The mom guilt is real people. If only we could just stop judging each others parenting styles, embrace the fact that we are muddling through this parenting thing together, and realize we pretty much all believe that we are failing at parenting no matter what choices we make.
I love my kids more than anything, and I often wish that I could spend more time with them. I turns out that little thing called student loans and crushing debt wouldn’t allow me that opportunity. But I also am proud to exemplify a woman that can manage to do both. No one should have to choose between raising a family and having a career. It is hard to juggle both but it can certainly be done, and many women do it every day. Either by choice or because they have no choice and their children are not suffering because of it. All that matters is that at the end of the day, your children feel how much they are loved and that their needs are met. Whatever that means for your family is a personal preference.
I hope that my daughters can grow up knowing that they can go to college, become successful, and simultaneously be a mom. They can also do all of that and take off work for a few years to stay home. Sometimes staying home is the most fiscally responsible option given the exorbitant price of day care, and sometimes finances require both parents to work. Not to mention all the emotional factors that play a role in these decisions. I have been lucky to work in the healthcare field and work off shifts that allowed me to spend time with my children and also work while they slept. Not to mention a supportive husband to handle dinner and bedtime while I am at work (second shift) or get some sleep (for third shift). It can be hard to squeeze in sleep deprived quality time, but it is worth it. And I know my children will appreciate it even if they do spend a lot of their day with a nanny and / or in daycare. Another plus is the diverse group of children and people they have grown to love from this environment. My kids are incredibly outgoing and love to meet new people and have wonderful experiences. Diversity is what makes the world go round and young girls should feel empowered to know that both options hold no shame.