Mental Health Awareness Day

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Learning About Health as a Child

I was lucky when I was little to have a working family with pretty decent health care. Growing up, I was at the dentist every six months for my routine check-up. I had braces when I needed them for as long as I needed them. I went to my general practitioner for annual check-ups and would also see her when a sinus infection or a stomach bug crept in. I went to the optometrist annually to take care of my eye health and receive contacts and glasses as I needed. I visited the dermatologist regularly. And I also saw an OBGYN when the time arose. 

I remember learning how to navigate these health care systems, as well, especially once I moved away from home. I remember being taught how to call an insurance company to ask if a specific office was in-network. I remember being taught to ask around for recommendations on who to visit and who to avoid when I moved to a new area. I was taught how to seek out a strong general practitioner; a gentle dentist; a charismatic optometrist; a thorough gynecologist. I was taught how to find the professional, medical help I needed.

Except when it was time to find a therapist.

I was taught to look into my body, think through my physical pain and describe it as best as I could to get the best help I could. I have learned what triggers my chronic migraines. I can describe the feeling of my fibromyalgia. I know the feeling of a toothache. I know when physical pain is too intense to treat at home any longer and that I should seek medical help.

But I was never taught to talk about nervous feelings. Or scared feelings. Or sad feelings. Or intense feelings. Or unsafe feelings. 

Because I don’t think my parents were taught, either.

Societal History of Mental Health

Think about it; historically (and not too long before most of our parents were around) we would lock up people with tuberculosis, polio…and bipolar disorder. Because these things were considered to be highly contagious, highly dangerous, causing people to be erratic and deathly ill. If they had it and we were near them…we’d get it, too. 

Because of our societal history on mental health, I learned language like, “mental institution,” “crazy house,” “looney bin.” Mental illness was either fake or highly dangerous to the point where we sequester “those affected” and ignore the diagnosis, ignore the treatment, ignore them as humans. 

I don’t blame my household for not teaching me about mental health. The shame that existed around this topic has improved…but not much. We have no shame saying something is wrong with our arm when we fall out of a tree and break it. We also teach our children there’s no shame in that, either. We feel no shame when we go to the doctor because we are so congested and receive medication for a sinus infection. We also teach our children there’s no shame in that, either. We feel no shame when we have to get a cavity filled at the dentist. We also teach our children there is no shame in that, either.

But when our brains have chemical imbalances that lead us to have unhealthy and negative thoughts that affect our daily living…that’s when we are taught to feel shame. Because for some reason, at some point in time, treating our brains like every other part of our body became this mysterious shame-filled waste of time. 

Have you ever found out someone has asthma or diabetes and thought, “Prove it?” Of course not. Because when someone is suffering from one of these illnesses, we hear them and we see them and we grieve with them and we support them. But when someone mentions their depression has been darker than ever lately, it is ingrained in many of us to doubt, to excuse, to dismiss, to disagree, to respond in ways that make our loved ones feel shame. 

Celebrating World Mental Health Awareness Day

It is more important now than it ever has been to teach our children about mental health. Yes, it’s absolutely important to have a WORLD Mental Health Awareness Day, which is October 10, 2019. Let’s start, though, with INSIDE OUR HOME Mental Awareness Day. Let’s protect our children in healthy ways, but also expose them to the realities of mental illness in equally healthy ways. The best way we can do that is by addressing our own mental health issues with skilled professionals. 

“Ok…” you’re thinking, “maybe this blogger is right.” Maybe you’re thinking about your own struggles with what you think might be diagnosed as a mental illness. Maybe you’re thinking of your spouse. Or your friend who is a new mom. Or your sibling who seems to have lost so much support recently. Or that coworker who doesn’t show up to work much anymore. Many of us struggle with or know someone who struggles with, mental illness. Knowing that it needs to be addressed is a win already.

Getting it addressed is a whole different battle.

I’m a professional counselor by trade so talking about mental illness in our home is a must. I share when my anxiety and depression seem stronger than normal and I tell my two-year-old daughter that mama is having a hard day and hopes the benefits of her medicine and meditation will kick in soon. In our home, taking an antidepressant will be no different than taking aspirin. They are both necessary for comfort and survival. 

I will also teach my daughter about how to find the right medical professional help when she needs it. I’ll show her how to navigate the system of insurance to find a great dentist, GP, OBGYN, optometrist, dermatologist AND a therapist. When it came time for me to find my own therapist, I was lost. Overwhelmed. And didn’t know where to start.

Getting Help

So I’m here, to start the process with you. If you, for any reason whatsoever, believe that you would benefit from talking to a professional about your thoughts and feelings (especially if any of your thoughts involve hurting yourself or others), here are some ways to go about finding the help you need: 

  1. Talk to your General Practitioner. I can guarantee they will be able to help with an initial diagnosis and refer you to a mental health professional you can afford to see for follow up counseling.
  2. Begin your search with your insurance provider to see who they cover. Call the member number or visit the member website listed on the back of your insurance card. Ask your insurance provider what will be expected of you out-of-pocket at your visits. Ask your provider what your co-pay is. Ask them to help you find someone who is in your network.
  3. Visit Psychology Today and type your city and zip into the search bar on the main page. You will populate a massive list of all types of therapists near you. You may be overwhelmed with seeing all of their titles and specializations that are listed and that’s okay. Start with the first one, see if they treat what it is you’re struggling with and make the call. If they don’t, move to the next one on the list. Keep at it. Clinicians may not be taking new clients or may not be in your insurance network. The system can be challenging to navigate but you are worth it.
  4. Ask someone you trust to go through the process with you. Someone you know and love is seeing a therapist. They’ve been through this process and have had unsuccessful and successful attempts. Find a friend who works in the mental health field so they can help you determine the difference between a LISW, LISW-S, LPC, LPCC, LPCC-S, MFT, etc. There are lots of us trained in lots of specific fields. That just means there’s more of us ready, available and willing to help you. 
  5. Read this article for tips on “What To Do Before Scheduling Your first Therapy Session.”  or, check out this lengthy article from Buzzfeed with more information on how to prepare you to find a therapist and begin your therapy sessions.

Chances are, you might be like me in that someone never taught you how to navigate this tricky mental health system. But I give you permission to no longer let that be your excuse for not taking care of you. Many of us clinicians are here, wanting and ready to help. Chances also are that you’re a parent reading this blog, so know that while as much as your children deserve to have a happy, healthy parent, you (even more so) deserve to have a happy, healthy you.

Read more about another article with great resources for help

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Kristina
Kristina is a working mama living in northeast Columbus with her husband, Mike, their always-on-the-go toddler, Morgan, and their dog, Tanner. As a professional counselor and primary caretaker of a tiny human, Kristina understands the importance of self care, whether that’s through walks and workouts with your mom village or five minutes (if you can get that long) with a hot cup of coffee. Kristina is also a part-time wine associate at a family owned shop in Westerville, so she knows a glass of wine is usually vital for self-care, too. She’s a coffee lover, a bourbon sipper, and a kayak adventurer. Kristina hopes to encourage parents in the long, sometimes very lonely days of parenting by reminding all parents that social media isn’t real life; in fact, she spilled coffee on herself while typing this bio. To follow Kristina through the moments when you are full of love and the moments you're at your wit’s end, check out “for the love” for the love.