Taboo Topic: Pregnancy and Eating Disorders

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Are you squirming in your seat just reading the title of this post? No matter. That’s natural. Also, that’s probably why the topic is still quite taboo and sits quietly under the radar. Other topics surrounding pregnancy – such as exercising well into the third-trimester, C-sections, the realities of infertility, post-partum mood disorders and the like have become a bit more mainstream, thankfully; but, we have a ways to go when it comes to discussing eating disorders while pregnant. 

The thing is, women who struggle with eating disorders don’t just magically rid of the behaviors and thoughts as soon as they see that plus line on that stick. Unfortunately, eating disorders are multi-faceted mental illnesses that don’t exactly play fairly. I’ve struggled with anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia and over-exercising for almost half my life, and I’m now on my third pregnancy. Luckily the terrible cycles never fully affected my fertility, which can most certainly happen, but I can’t say I’ve been completely freed of the behaviors every time I saw that little plus sign. It’s a daily commitment to resisting the behaviors and muting the thoughts; it’s the humility of knowing when I need professional help and turning to my therapist to get me through the tough days. 

When I found out I was pregnant with my first, the fear of gaining the suggested 25-40 pounds for a normal and healthy pregnancy was entirely overwhelming. I remember watching my body change and feeling completely out-of-control. For a girl who watched the scale excessively and ran consecutive marathons to control every morsel of food ingested, the loss of the control factor was what haunted me. I was still restricting during my first pregnancy but too embarrassed to seek help. I hid my challenges from most everyone I could, as my network mostly thought I was recovered and healthy (having gone away to inpatient treatment about 5 years prior and getting that clean bill of health), and the guilt associated with restricting while carrying the most precious gift of a human being was just too humiliating to admit. I was too old to still be struggling. Eating disorders were for teenagers! This was so superficial and selfish! I needed to be grateful for this beautiful gift and MOVE ON! But, after a few more years of growing and learning, I’m certain I’m not the only one who has felt like this while pregnant. And, it’s okay. 

Seven million American women each year are affected by eating disorders, and they actually peak during childbearing years, according to the American Pregnancy Association. Pregnancy is a time when body image concerns come to the forefront and significant weight gain is necessary for a healthy journey. For women struggling with eating disorders, these nine months can be particularly challenging, and the shame that comes along with an internal battle of restricting calories and listening to the eating disorder at the risk of harming the baby keeps most women from sharing such concerns.

Premature labor, low birth weight, stillbirth or fetal death, increased risk of cesarean birth, delayed fetal growth, gestational diabetes, complications during labor, depression, miscarriage, and preeclampsia can all be outcomes of eating disordered behaviors during pregnancy. With that laundry list of complications, it’s no wonder it’s tough to talk about! My first baby was born 3 weeks early and only weighed a smidge over 5 pounds. I immediately blamed myself for all of it and ‘not being good enough to carry a baby in a healthy manner’. My next pregnancy incorporated some therapy and acceptance and was much freer of disordered behaviors. Professional help well,…helps!

It’s important to lessen the stigmatism of eating disorders and pregnancy; since experts estimate as many as one in 20 women suffer from an eating disorder while pregnant. This number, however, doesn’t even account for those who don’t report such thoughts and behaviors to their obstetricians since extreme secrecy and denial are inherent in eating disordered individuals.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that my thoughts around food and body may always have a tinge of negativity around them, but I’ve also come to find that help exists to get me through it all, and I hope you know you’re not alone, either. 

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Meghan Sexton
Meggie is a certified #boymom to Connor, 5, Cooper, 3, and Sawyer, 1. Luckily, she’s always been drawn to an active lifestyle and loves distance running, so she can usually keep up with their crazy. Growing up near Cleveland, Ohio, she’s been a Columbus transplant since attending college at Ohio Wesleyan University (after brief stint back in Cleveland to attend grad school at John Carroll) where she met her husband, Sam. Meggie currently works part-time as an event and marketing consultant (www.megsextonconsulting.com) and a run coach, balancing staying at home part-time with her boys. When she’s not busy with contract work or parenting, she can be found running races around town with Sam or enjoying all the local and lovely delicacies that uptown Westerville has to offer.

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