The Importance of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem has always been important, but it seems even more important today.
Our kids have so much to manage these days. Just to name a few…
- Busy schedules
- Busy distracted parents
- Pressure to excel at school and in sports
- Peer pressure
- Alarming suicide rates
- Social media
Now, more than ever, we need to raise strong, healthy, confident kids.
And we need our village back. We can’t do this alone. We’re running in a million different directions and dealing with our own pressures, demands, and stress.
Since we’re all dealing with so so much, let’s try to keep this simple. Now is not the time to over-complicate things.
Never Underestimate Your Power and Influence as a Parent
When it seems like your kids are never listening, they are.
When it seems like they don’t care what you have to say, they do.
When it seems like your the last person on the plant they want to be with, you’re not.
From toddler tantrums to teenage power struggles, they need you and they know it.
They need you to teach them how to grow up confident and secure to help their self-esteem.
Acknowledge Your Children
So basic, right? But not always so easy. Especially when three of them are demanding your attention at the exact same time. And the phone is ringing. And the timer on the oven is going off. And the laundry is done and needs to be folded. And the dog needs to go out. And your husband is texting you because he’s going to be late… again.
First of all, acknowledge that you’re not superhuman. Then do your best to at least acknowledge your children and let them know their needs will be met in due time. Let them know you’re there for them– ALWAYS. No matter what.
Give Compliments and Praise– Lots of It
I’ve never been a fan of the tiger mom. The world is tough enough. Our kids have the majority of their lives to live in the tough, unforgiving world. They only have a short time with you. Love on them as much as possible. Children should feel so amazing in the safety of their own homes. They should feel like the center of their parents Universe. Because they ARE.
Always praise their EFFORT and encourage them to keep trying and keep moving forward. Acknowledge their mistakes and praise them for trying. Teach them to love themselves by loving yourself. This will do wonders for their self-esteem!
Talk to Them. Even When They Don’t Want to Talk
Don’t force them to talk when they’re not ready, but let them know you’re not going away. Don’t stop asking questions. Don’t stop showing them how much you care.
If there is something they absolutely don’t want to talk about, give them some space, and try to bring up a subject they will talk about. Keep the lines of communication OPEN.
Listen to Them and Watch Their Self-Esteem Grow
When they finally do open up, you shut up. Don’t interrupt. Let them keep talking. Let them know they can tell you anything without a judgmental reaction from you. And watch your facial expressions.
Keep those in check.
Write Them Notes and Send Them Daily Texts
Don’t just send them reminders and lists of things to do. Send them notes of affection. Give them constant daily reminders that you’re there, you’re on their side, and you’re not going away.
When they’re feeling tired, stressed, overwhelmed or lonely, a few encouraging words from you can make all the difference in the world.
Respond With Kindness and a Positive Attitude
When things get tough, teach them to respond in kindness.
Teasing and bullying do not resolve teasing and bullying.
Violence does not resolve violence.
What is the best way to teach this? You respond in kindness when they’re showing their less desirable sides.
Allow Them to Make Choices… and Mistakes
When children learn something, they become more confident. Experience is, hands down, the most effective teacher.
Let them make age-appropriate choices and let them fail sometimes. They will learn so much more from that experience than they ever will from your lectures.
Of course, use your common sense here. You know your child best and what choices they are capable of making on their own. First and foremost, you must keep your children safe.
Be a Positive Role Model
Last, but not least, be the best role model you can be. Show your children how to be confident and have positive self-esteem by being confident in yourself. Remember, they ARE paying attention.
Don’t put yourself down. You should never put yourself down, but especially not in front of your children.
Have confidence in your parenting.
Graciously accept compliments from others.
Learn From Your Mistakes
I always hate reading articles and books on parenting because I end up feeling like a huge failure. I do all the things they say not to do. But the lesson here is to acknowledge your mistakes, learn from them, gain confidence from what you’ve learned, move on, and be a role model.
Your children need to understand you’re human and make mistakes too. They learn from your mistakes. They learn from what you learn from your mistakes. Every opportunity is an opportunity to do better and improve the self-esteem of yourself and your children.