If you are a working mom, whether it is by choice or necessary due to financial obligations, there is a heavy burden that we carry: we have to do it ALL and we have to do it all WELL. We want to be successful at work, doing our very best to impress co-workers & bosses. We feel the pressure to make home-cooked meals & host the Pinterest-worthy birthday parties. We carry the mom guilt on days we miss out on classroom parties or don’t feel like playing with them at the end of a long workday.
I was a working mom for three years as a teacher before beginning my Doula career. I understand what those long days are like for you. I see you. I know you’re exhausted, overwhelmed and hanging onto the weekend countdown. BUT you, working mom- are valued, appreciated and teaching your kids so many important skills. Your kids are watching everything you do: your work ethic and dedication to something that is not household duties, how to create balance at work and in the home, developing & maintaining relationships with people & how you and your partner work as a team. There is so much value in all of these and in being a working mom.
One Small Change
I began implementing something that released the mom guilt I felt about not spending quality time with my girls and the pressure I felt to have the perfect house. Every day I got home from work, I would spend somewhere between 30 minutes – 1 hour playing with my kids and connecting with them. I would do this before doing a single chore or starting dinner. Sure, that meant dinner was a little later than “normal”, but guess what? We all got used to a later dinner time. What would it look like for you to begin a ritual like this to come home and decompress from work by enjoying the time with your kids? Doing this helped me to not care so much about the state of the house and what was going to happen at work the next day. This was everything to me.
This could be crucial for your family because you can establish a culture in your home that prioritizes quality time with one another over caring about the chores and the daily grind of life. You won’t be perfect at this every day and neither am I. The important piece in all of this above everything is to give yourself grace. Remember that you ARE the best mom to your kids, whether that means you are a working mom or stay at home mom or somewhere in between. We are all just trying to do our best!
