During the past couple of weeks, I’ve started incorporating simple mindfulness activities into the day of my three-year-old. The heat of the summer and the recent end of naptime has brought the beginning of complete meltdowns. Watching him lose control of his emotions and body has made me realize (once again) how unprepared I am for parenting. At my wit’s end, I finally asked him to just breathe with me. Although both a bit skeptical at first, together we’ve created a little mindfulness practice that has thus far worked in stopping him mid-tantrum and in refocusing his energy when he just needs to slow down.
FOCUS ON BREATHING
He’s only three, so I make this as simple as possible.
Breath in through your nose for three seconds.
Hold your breath for three seconds.
Breath out deeply through your mouth for three seconds.
We do it together every time for 2-3 minutes. I can definitely use a mindfulness reminder too. The first few times, it was mostly just me doing it while he looked at me skeptically, but I kept going and eventually, he joined in. Don’t worry about perfect technique or posture. At three, his success is in his trying and focusing on the quietness for a few minutes.
WORDS OF SELF-AFFIRMATION
End every breathing session saying out loud a positive self-affirmation. Depending on the situation that compelled us to start our mindfulness breathing, we have a couple of popular sayings.
I am calm, and I am happy.
I am proud of myself, and I am great.
He was definitely shy about saying these the first few times. Which is all the more reason he should be saying them! I want him to believe these things about himself. I kept it consistent and said it every time. Additionally, it helps to watch online mindfulness videos where the characters say an affirmation too. Now he says it loud and clear right along with me!
PRAISE YOUR GOOD WORK
I’ll be honest; the first time I complimented mostly myself. Good job Mommy. You did a good job breathing and feel really relaxed. But, because I have a kid that thrives on positive reinforcement, he lights up when he knows he’s done something to deserve a little praise. Find something little if that’s all you can manage while your child is learning. That was a good try. I saw you take a nice deep breath.
ALTERNATIVE ACTIVITIES
Obviously, we are very new into incorporating mindfulness activities, but I am a believer thus far. My child is happier and calmer, and I am too. There are many online videos you can search for “mindfulness activities for young children.” I’ll lead him myself when I just need him to calm down a bit. If he is in full meltdown mode, I will play a short online video. He is always excited to watch a video and usually the characters are a bit more engaging than me!
Finally, if you have a highly imaginative child, here are a couple other ideas to help to slow down your child and refocus their energy.
Have your child close his or her eyes.
Pretend to be a small tree on a sunny and windy day. Lead them one step at a time in feeling their leaves rustle, their trunk sway and having the warmth cover their leaves and branches.
Pretend you are eating an ice cream cone on a summer day. Lead them one step at a time in feeling the heat of the day, feeling the cold of the ice cream and the taste of the flavors.
Do you have any favorite mindfulness activities or videos? I’d love to hear about them!
Hello, I am interested in what videos you use for your child? And also any recommended readings to help me do this? Our 4-year-old is quite spirited and I think this sounds like a great way to help him self-soothe and be in the moment (instead of tearing from one activity to the next).
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