My husband and I are nearing 3 years of marriage, and have a happy and sassy 18-month-old daughter to show for it. Said daughter is remarkably demanding, a ton of fun, and absolutely exhausting. Given that both my husband and I work full time and Annabeth is in daycare every day, we have struggled to prioritize time together just as a couple.
I frequently told my husband those first 12 months that our tiny human and survival were my priorities, and so naturally our marriage became pretty much the last thing on my priority list. We dove head first into leaving our child (like for our first date ever) the day after she turned one. We flew to California for my husband’s job, as he qualified for an awards trip, and spouses were encouraged to attend. Unfortunately, even though I was still breastfeeding, Annabeth was not invited (that is a topic for another day ya’ll). It was 48 hours of chaos with traveling, pumping, trying to play the role of supportive wife, attending conference sessions, fancy meals, and oh yeah- trying to pay some attention to my husband who really hasn’t seen me out of mom-mode in 2 years. While it was chaos, it was such a gift.
I remember being stressed and talking to coworkers and friends about what in the world my husband and I would talk about. I still struggle to brainstorm what my husband and I talk about that ISN’T our daughter, our budget (ugh), or our to-do list. But guess what- it always happens, and we always find things to talk about.
September is birthday month in our house; his is September 8th and mine the 16th. To celebrate, we had a concert weekend, seeing Tim McGraw and Faith Hill in Columbus, and then we drove to Indianapolis to see Chris Stapleton with my sister and her boyfriend. It was a blast! The Arena District in Columbus is such a fun area to spend time in, as well, with multiple bars and restaurants to grab a drink or dinner before the event. We went to Bar Louie and BBR (we’re big fans of the nachos) and then walked over to the Arena. Both concerts were fantastic, and musical talent is seriously inspiring. The weekend was a blast and it is always so freeing to focus my attention on having fun, and not obsessing over my baby (but guys, she is ridiculously cute and I love her)!
We have not done a great job prioritizing time for the two of us, but it is a work in progress- and birthdays are a fantastic excuse to have the grandparents come to town allowing us some one on one time. Time alone with my husband is always refreshing, always enjoyable, and needs to be more routine around here.
My point is– go to the dinner, go to the show, do the dates. Do it. If you’re lucky enough to be madly in love with your husband like I am then you both deserve to put a little effort into that relationship. And in the end, I truly believe the little one benefits from having two refreshed in-love parents.
My Favorite Date Ideas
– Concerts (obviously)
– Food and ice cream (Coppa Gelato or Graeter’s is always a good excuse for a date)
– Metro Park walks
– Scenic drives (Sunsets speak to me, and chasing them with my hubs is a favorite activity)
– High Street Gallery Hops
– Uptown Westerville Wine Shops
– Date Night “In” (Check out this post for ideas on date-nights in)
What are yours? How do you prioritize your marriage and relationship in the chaos of parenting? It has been challenging for me to maintain my role as “wife” in the midst of motherhood, and I know it will always be a work in progress.